My mind won't stop!!

So I'm back from ministry conference and I have these thoughts that are flying around in my brain. They don't stop they just move and wonder and annoy (in a good way). I know that life has to be different now, it can't go back to being the same, but what does that look like? What does it feel like? And am I okay with that?

I know distinctly that the prayer and the cry of my heart was and continues to be "Break me and remake me!!" I am coming to find that breaking is not as fun as it sounds (and it doesn't sound that fun), yet I find joy abounding in my life through this. I feel like I am on a spiritual roller coaster, up one minute and down the next. As God confronts me on issues, I am down and want to avoid as usual... but as I confront these and converse with God I am lifted up to amazing heights. So this is how my days are going, little high... little low... and so on. Not a bad ride all together.

I was thinking this morning that I began working on a book a few years ago, but got frustrated as it seemed to end as it was getting started. I believe that I am finally allowing God to work in my life in a way that will add the next set of chapters to my book. This excites me, that God is stirring something inside of me (may the flames continue to be fanned)!!

I think back to my soccer days and know that the coaches that I appreciate are the one who rode me the hardest, pushed me the most, and never accepted anything but my best. They were tools that drove my worship of soccer. Today I have men in my life who ride me, push me, and never accept anything but my best in my spiritual life, and I am grateful for them. I do not seek "yes" men, I seek those who would tell me the truth no matter the pain. I remind my self that if i would endure "torture" for soccers' sake, how much more will I endure for my living redeemer!!!

May He BREAK ME and all my sinfulness and may He REMAKE ME into who He wants me to be. May I walk on in courage and faith, not wavering to the left or the right. May I run with endurance teh race set out for me and may I never forget where my power and strength come from... AMEN!!!!