And then it was there... A glimpse!

Sometimes we know that what God says is true, we aren't sure what it looks like but we know it's true. Then there are times that we see God at work in our lives through other people. You know those times when God reveals Himself through the actions of others and we are astounded that it would happen that way.

Thursday afternoon I was home by myself, working on my laptop. As I was sitting and working, my brain turning to mush, I thought that there must be something I can do to take a break. I saw a cord that was not tucked behind the tv center and thought that Stacy would appreciate me moving that back out of sight. I moved the cord and as I stood up, the back of my head hit the tea cup shelf. As Stacy's grandmothers tea cups and saucers begin to rain down on me, my heart sinks and I try to catch what I can.

I managed to catch 5 out of 9 tea cups and 7 out of 9 saucers. I sat on the floor devistated, knowing how important those have been to my wife. Wishing there was an undo button for life... Long story shorter... When I told Stacy what had happened, she handled it with grace and mercy. I almost didn't know what to do. I just stood there saying how sorry I was, and she said "stop! I know you are sorry. They are just things.".

It was at that moment that I got a glimpse at the amazing grace and mercy of God. There is no reason I should have been let off the hook that easily. I deserved to have her be upset at my lack of awareness. Yet she saw that I was far more valuable than the tea cups she has treasured. That afternoon, my wife once again showed me a glimpse of my loving creator. What a blessing!!

In that moment...

So Wednesdays are my killer days. I begin the day about 7am getting around and heading to the office to be there no later than 8 (that's my aim). Most days I don't come home for lunch and go straight through our student ministry before coming home around 9pm and tucking the kids in. A full day, and there are times that I find myself hoping that everyone's parents show up on time so I can just get home, but then there are those moments where they don't and I'm amazingly blessed by conversations that draw me and a student into the presence of God.

It's not that i am a great person or student minister, because most nights I am ready to check out and just head home. But... in that moment when the lights are on and the student says "so what does it mean when the Bible says..." I remember why it is that I do this!! Not because I can run a great program, or give a good lesson. I do this because there were people in my teen years who invested in me and thought I was worth some extra time. So in that moment I choose to be in that moment, if that makes any sense. I choose to not just stand there and nod, but to be present, involved, engaged. As I write this I think "that's not rocket science and not tough" but there are times that it is.

In that moment the truth of my commitment comes out. Will I invest in the kingdom of God, or will I invest in the kingdom of me? It's not that I don't want to be home with my family, it's that i have students who don't have a family other than our student ministry. We need to be there to do life with them, to let them know they are worth our time even when we are spent and tired.

In those moments, I am refreshed spiritually. There is something about the seeking soul that encourages me, and makes me think that maybe the did hear something after all.

Lord may I always choose to be in that moment...

Hold on?

What is it that makes some people able to say "That's it, it's time for me to go."? I mean I know where I'm going, but I'm not okay with going there now! It makes me wonder if you see the world a little different when you reach the end of your life. Is there a sudden clarity? Do you suddenly see that your loved ones would be better off if they could just move on?

Does it bring more comfort to the family if the person is ready to go? Is that somehow easier to deal with?

I know that the sting of death is gone, but is it? Why do I still stress about what would happen if I died? Why do I wonder if I would be able to to tell my family that I am ready to go? Some would say it's because I don't have real peace with God, but they'd be wrong. I think it's because I feel I have so much to live for. A beautiful family and church body. I don't want to miss my kid's first's. I want to be there for Libby's first broken heart, for her graduation, to walk her down the isle to her prince! I want to be at Ivan's games, watch him grow into a man and to start a family of his own! Guess I'm just not ready to die, that's probably okay.

Lord, direct, guide, and bless our lives. May we seek You and honor You with our lives.

Tough Questions

So, when is the best time to ask someone the tough questions in their life? How is it we know that the "time is right"? When the moment of truth comes and we are confronted with the reality of either talking to them about this issue that must be dealt with or leaving it alone an trying to pretend it isn't there; what is it that we so? How do we do it? Another great question. Do I hit them head on or do I circle around looking for a soft spot to work my way through?

I will, most of the time, deal with the issue but will circle around. Is this the right way?? I would say very strongly... "NO". This is just one way. I think that most often we feel like the way we want to say things/deal with conflict is the right way. When in fact the right way is more likely to be the way each individual handles the situation adding in the wisdom of God. An ingredient left out all too often in confrontation. We simple go the way that we are most comfortable with and kind of hope that God will bless that. The problem is that when we leave God out, we often don't handle things in the way that most honors Him. We handle it in the way that most honors us. That is never a good thing! When we honor ourselves in tough issues we often do more harm than good.

I firmly believe that God guides and directs us in these times. There have been a few times when I have found myself being much more firm and to the point than I would normally be and that i attribute to God (because it went well), there are other times i was not as bold and it did not go well (because I was not obedient). Tough situations are tough, no matter how you deal with them but they are much easier to deal with when you are following the guidance and leading of our Lord Jesus Christ. Not that I have attained this perfectly, but this is what I aim for (to paraphrase Paul).

Lord may You be our wisdom and guidance in the tough situations we experience. May you turn us into the people you desire us to be, have your way with us!!

A beautifulday

Praise the Lord for the beauty of today and the glorious creation around us!!

A question of Faith...

So when will it be that I will not question my faith? I wouldn't call it a crisis of faith, but yet there are those lingering questions that have not found a satisfactory answer as of yet. Those shadows that lurk on the skirts of my faith that at times make we wonder why I believe what I believe.

At the same time, it seems that often these questions drive to try to find answers. To find the answers I must dive deeper into God to find what it is that He says about it. Maybe that's what it's all about, the questions that drive me to find answers which in turn drives me to seek my God and learn more about Him. I desperately want to complete, finished with this growing and learning! I don't like being incomplete, I don't like making mistakes and I don't like the pain involved with growing.

Bottom line... the big question for me... Do I really believe that God is big enough to answer my questions? Yes I do. Do I take the time to listen to Him? Not as much and as often as I should. Guess I'm the student who want to pass without studying!! And that stinks, because I don't like those people. I don't want to be the person who expects it to just be given to him!!